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July 08, 2008

Vegas, Vegas, Vegas.

Posted by: Shannon (888) 583-2737  :  Category: Uncategorized
My friend Sid is a chortler. He’s this long, lithe fellow with all the merriness of a chubby little cherub and he has the most glorious chortle you’ve ever heard. These loud alto bubbles of glee just tumble out of his mouth at every opportunity. Unfortunately, it’s highly contagious.

There are many situations where that kind of laughter is appropriate, but weddings aren’t one of them.  At least, not the particular wedding of which I’m speaking. A group of eight of us just spent a week in Vegas, which culminated in the elopement of a couple of our friends. They are a very unsuitable pair.  I know this, Sid knows this, the groom knows this. The bride does not know this. Well, she may know it now that she’s honeymooning it up at Niagra Falls, depending just how bold the dear old groom has gotten, but she certainly didn’t know it this time last week.

So, yeah, the laughter was unfortunate but really unavoidable. I’m pretty sure Sid and I were picturing the same thing as the two of them were kissing. Bubba, waddling out of the bathroom in all his redneck adult baby glory, his pudgy belly and the very tip of his hard-on poking out of his brand-new Bambino diaper*. I haven’t quite been able to picture Prudence’s reaction yet, but I’m sure it would be a thing of beauty.  

See, Bubba confided his little secret to Sid, in the strictest confidence of course. Sid, being the big flaming gossip he is, told me. I, on the other hand, am the absolute soul of discretion, so I’m only telling my little corner of the world right here.  

Anyway, Vegas was a treat on many levels. Sid is very fond of rolling his eyes and muttering, “Shannon Collett: Loves a Spectacle.” Well, it’s true. So, for me, Vegas is just a big neon wonderland.

Spectacles, spectacles, as far as the eye can see.

The Bellagio’s blown glass flowers and water fountain show, the four glorious hours at the Pinball Hall of Fame, the Fireside Lounge, the roller coasters, the King Tut reproductions. Such wonderful things!

* I don’t actually know if Bubba’s diaper of choice is the Bambino, but it’s so fucking cute that I like to imagine it is. Who doesn’t like to imagine their favorite adult baby all decked out in pastel-colored baby blocks? I’ve been charmed by them ever since Diaper Jeff put in appearance in them.  
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June 30, 2008

Ooooh, an entry!

Posted by: Shannon (888) 583-2737  :  Category: Phone Sex Specials, Uncategorized
This is going to be agonizing.

 

I can just see pink-painted sissy lips opening in squeals of girlish glee.  Perhaps the more masculine among you will do one of those silly fist pumps.  I’d like to imagine The Prick dancing a jig in my honor — he always did like it when I updated my journal — but I bet he just shakes his head in exasperation.  He probably already knows this isn’t going to turn into a real entry. It’s just an announcement.

 

Sorry to disappoint, fellas.

 

Oh wait, there’s more. 

 

I’m going on vacation!  Yay! Cocktails, cock-teasing and pampering!  I’m so excited I’m a little incoherent.

 

Well, that or my inaugural apple martini is doing its job.  

 

I promise to call and dictate some notes from my adventure to one of my friends while I’m gone, so you’ll have some idea what I’m up to.

 

I should be back late, late on 7/6 but I might be hard to reach on the first day or two of my return.  I will respond to e-mails to set appointments, though. And you know I’ll miss you all dreadfully, even those of you with no dicks to speak of.

 

Now a perfect boy would save up every sweet slippery drop of cum for me while I’m gone, but we know most of you aren’t perfect.  Compulsive masturbators, the lot of you.  

 

Yeah, well, me, too.  

 

Anyway, if you get impatient for me while I’m gone and you just gotta get some, I have a couple of friends you can play with.  They come with the illustrious Shannon seal of approval. If you do call them, be sure to ask for the Shannon special and your calls will be just $2 a minute and you don’t have to pre-buy a block of time.  This is a special discount just for my boys, so you must ask for it when you call.  It’s good now through July 10th.  

 

Willow (866) 992-3258:  Yeah, some of you know her from all our tawdry 2-girl calls.  She of the wicked mind, honeyed voice and endlessly inventive role-plays.  Willow is a good friend of mine and you are NOT allowed to use her all up while I’m gone.  There better be some left for me to fuck when I come home or there will be hell to pay.  

 

Layla (866) 992-3258: Layla is my favorite go-to girl for domination and cock control.  I also have this huge crush on her ass.  If you talk to her, you have to lick it for me, ‘k?

 

Tori (877) 354-7869: Tori and I share a few sissy dolls, so I know she’ll take really good call of my playthings while I’m gone.  She has more panties than God (not quite as many as me, but close!).

 

Holly (866) 992-3258:  Mischievous giggle, tight body, and hours of taunting.  Be really careful with Holly if you call her because she likes to take ordinary perverts and turn them into helpless little sugar daddies.  It’s totally not my fault if she breaks you.  

 

Click HERE or HERE to see the girls. (For some reasons, my links aren’t underlining in this blog thing, but I’ll worry about that later.) There are other girls there and also a perfectly gigantic big black man, Reggie. If you have fun without me, you have to tell me some of the sordid details.  I love those things.  If you decide to save it up for me, I’ll totally make that worth your while, too. Miss me!
Kisses,
Shannon

 

P.S.  Richard, I just saw your comment on the Lorem Ipsum babble.  I miss you, too!  And yes, the sexiest shoes in the world are coming on vacation with me.  I couldn’t leave patent leather perfection behind.  You are soooo good to me!
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December 09, 2007

Festive

Posted by: Shannon (888) 583-2737  :  Category: Uncategorized

Maybe I should safety pin a sprig of mistletoe to my panties.

My neighbors may hate me by now. I have boys on either side and I trust that they enjoy whatever moans or screams penetrate my fairly thick walls — honestly, don’t you wish you lived next door to me? — but I’m not sure how they feel about the Christmas carols.

I have them playing tonight loud enough to wake the dead or certainly any scrooges in the immediate vicinity. For someone who has long since made peace with her damnation, I have an awful lot of Jesusy carols on my playlist.

Oh holy hell, Christmas Card from a Hooker just popped up on itunes. Okay, fast forward. That slipped into the playlist under false pretenses. I love me some Tom Waits but he’s not very holly jolly.

Oooh, perfect! The next song up is Baby, It’s Cold Outside. This is my favorite holiday song of all! I need a dapper man in a fedora to sweet talk me and swing me around the dance floor.

I can’t believe how festive my apartment looks! I just finished decorating and now I’m relaxing with a cup of apple cider. Prudence was supposed to drive up to help me decorate, but she sprained her ankle and I just couldn’t wait any longer. I thought about inviting a man over to at least put the lights on the tree for me, but I decided it might be fun to give the whole self sufficiency thing a whirl, for once.

Well, clearly I just wasn’t designed for a life of self sufficiency. The lights are passable, if a bit twisty. But the star, now that I’m sitting down and looking at it, is seriously askew. Actually, the damn tree looks tipsy.

Eh, fuck it. It’s jaunty.

I have snowflakes and lights on my windows, red mercury beads on the bannister, and a sprig of mistletoe over my bed. I’m looking coquettish in a sparkly pink t-shirt and the kelly green I Love Santa panties my Spy Guy sent me. Somebody better come fuck me before I go on a present bender and rip into all the presents under the tree! And if I do that, a couple of my sweet santas are gonna be very, very angry.

Only you can prevent a Christmas disaster.

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